<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>a shared language by raincityruckus</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25930975">a shared language</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/raincityruckus/pseuds/raincityruckus'>raincityruckus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last Kingdom (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>"the most sexually frustrated court in england", F/F, Pining, UST, a hair of aethelflaed/aethelred and eadith/aethelred gross, a soupcon of aethelflaed/erik, canon-ish through the end of s4, just so much ~maybe, vague allusion to sexual assault</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:02:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,942</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25930975</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/raincityruckus/pseuds/raincityruckus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span class="small">
    <i>Aethelflaed has a choice. </i>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="small">
    <i>Eadith can be the woman who fucked her husband, who sought power in his bed. Or she can be the first person - maybe ever - that Aethelflaed has not had to find the words to explain herself to. They don’t have to be women surrounded only ever by men.  Eadith’s fingers are cold when Aethelflaed finds them, slips them into the spaces between their own. </i>
  </span>
</p><p>Or: Everyone in Aegelesburg has blue balls.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aethelflaed Lady of Mercia/Aldhelm (The Last Kingdom), Aethelflaed/Eadith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a shared language</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I took some weather and architecture related liberties but also ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I do what I want. <br/>Thanks to the enablers who feed this TLK beast in me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aethelflaed knew that sending Eadith away from Aegelesburg was the right political choice. The ghost of Aethelred’s affair would always haunt the halls as long as Eadith was there to remind the Lords of Mercia. That’s what she had told herself when she did it. That’s what she’d had Aldhelm remind her when she couldn’t ignore how unfair it felt to a woman who had admirable strength, even if she hadn’t always acted as Aethelflaed might have liked. </p><p>That’s what she told herself when Finan lifted Eadith’s prone frame off the stones of Winchester, dirtied and bloodied. It didn’t quel the insistent hiss of self recrimination. The reminder that she had put Eadith on this path. A better, kinder version of herself would never have asked Eadith to leave, would never have left Eadith in a position to risk entering Winchester.</p><p>Aethelflaed felt somehow that she should have seen this coming.  Eadith was brave and had shown herself to take risks for what she thought was right. And she had been strong when Aethelflaed told her she had to leave. Her strength had been worse than any begging or crying would have been. Weakness Aethelflaed could have despised her for. But strong and capable and brave, Eadith only made Aethelfaed think of all the women who were not in her life. </p><p>With the sweat and filth of battle still on her skin and Eadith’s purple gown a vanishing flash of colour in the crowd, Aethelflaed cannot help but think how lonely it is to be the only woman always surrounded by men. </p><p>She finds her hours later when the world has shifted and changed again. </p><p>The rain held off for Edward’s smoke and fire but it’s upon them now, fat drops battering the soot stained city. Already the evidence of the battle is starting to wash away.  Eadith holds herself stiffly under the awning of a covered walkway, watching the rain batter the street before her. She has been there a long time because her hair and skirts are dry. Her arms are wrapped protectively around her waist.  She should look fragile, wounded and dirtied. </p><p>Somehow Aethelflaed thinks her beautiful. In the muted light that makes it through the cloud cover her hair seems to glow copper and the smudge of dirt on her skin makes her eyes more luminous, the angles of her face more elfin and delicate. It is the set of her jaw though, that Aethelflaed fixates on, a tension she holds there that Aethelflaed feels aching in her own molars. It’s the same determination that had her turning down the offer of the nunnery, that had her throwing her lot in with Aethelflaed when their brothers betrayed their trust. </p><p>Even the quick dash across the open courtyard leaves Aethelfled’s braids wet and cool water trickles under her armor. Neither one of them have properly cleaned up, changed into fresh clothes. Winchester may be cleaned but they are still streaked with soot. Aethelflaed thinks it fitting, people remember the battles long after the places cease to care. </p><p>Eoferwic will not care that Sigtryggr takes it. The city will stand, people will live there. It does not care which battles were fought for it. </p><p>“I heard about Stiorra,” Eadith says softly, her voice pinched and her breath a little shallow.  She doesn’t look at Aethelflaed and Aethelflaed doesn’t look at her. They stand and watch the rain. After a minute she huffs a breath through her nose, that might be a laugh, “no one around Uhtred could help but hear about Stiorra.”</p><p>“She will do what women have always done,” Aethelflaed says because it’s easier than saying she made a sacrifice and she would make it again. Stiorra is not the child that Aelfwynn is but Aethelflaed can’t honestly say what she would do if Uhtred’s daughter was the same age as hers. </p><p>“She’ll do what we have done, my Lady,” Eadith says and if she’s a little wistful Aethelflaed doesn’t blame her. There is no anger in her grey eyes when she meets Aethelflaed’s gaze, just weariness, the ache of her ribs. And understanding Aethelflaed can never see in the face of any of the men she knows love and respect her.</p><p>“And what’s that?” </p><p>“Survive,” Eadith says and dips her head to the no descript patch of street beyond them “outlive them.”</p><p>“I hope she will not have to. Sigtryggr seems,” Aethelflaed opens her mouth and hopes the words find her. She closes it again without saying anything. </p><p>She tries to find the words to explain that Sigtryggr is dangerous but not unpredictable, and that eases some of her worry for Stiorra. How does she articulate why she takes it as a good sign that Sigtryggr speaks softly and knows he will be listened to when other men would yell. Looking into Eadith’s heart shaped face, soft curls escaping her braid to frame it prettily she realizes she doesn’t have to. She doesn’t need to find the words for Uhtred or Edward. She and Eadith already speak the same language.</p><p>“I think I knew a man like him once,” she lifts one shoulder, “He doesn’t try to prove he is worthy of power.”</p><p>“Aelfwynn’s father?” Eadith asks and it’s impertinent, disrespectful. She did all but banish her, she supposes a littler impertinence is to be expected. It’s Aethelflaeds turn to huff a breath of a laugh, turning her gaze back to the rain. In the distance the rain is already stopped, clear skies are rolling towards them. </p><p>All Aethelflaed can see is the river in the light of a full moon. Her chest still aches when she takes a deep breath and she knows by now that the cold iron that drives between her ribs will never truly go away. It’s a pain she lives it, and it’s sweeter to carry than most.  She swallows the river stone that lodges in her throat and blinks herself back to the present moment. </p><p>Eadith is quiet beside her, unmoved from where she stands, feet planted. Her arms have unwound from around her waist and hang at her sides, her fingers curling into the fabric of her skirts until her knuckles are white. She is braced for something and Aethelflaed has not been kind enough to her to ask what. </p><p>“I hope I’m right,” Aethelflaed says and prays that Eadith does her the favour of ignoring the quaver in her voice “I hope she doesn’t have to pay the same price for Winchester that has already been paid for Wessex. My husband could be charming.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Aethelflaed has a choice. </p><p>Eadith can be the woman who fucked her husband, who sought power in his bed. Or she can be the first person maybe ever that Aethelflaed has not had to find the words to explain herself to. They don’t have to be women surrounded only ever by men.  Eadith’s fingers are cold when Aethelflaed finds them, slips them into the spaces between their own. </p><p>“My Lady,” Eadith shifts after only a few heartbeats, tries to pull her hand away. Aethelflaed squeezes her fingers, hard enough she feels the bones grind and Eadith freezes. She releases her grip but not Eadith’s hand. If she pulls away Aethelflaed will let her go. </p><p>She hopes she doesn’t. </p><p>“My Lady, I’m sorry. I -” Eadith starts her head bowing and that thick braid slithering forward over her shoulder. </p><p>“Please don’t,” Aethelflaed shifts in front of Eadith. Her hands are still dirty when she tucks her knuckle under Eadith’s chin and tips her face up but it doesn’t matter. Eadith is still smudged with the same soot and blood. “No need for that.”</p><p>Eadith’s breath is shaky against her lips when Aethelflaed presses their foreheads together. Her hand flexes wide and Aethelflaed is almost about to drop her grip when Eadith closes it again. This time her grip is tight, certain. It isn’t what she’s used to, Eadith’s fingers are delicate, long boned and slight. But they fit together like puzzle pieces.  Aethelflaed knows what it is not to hold the power so she waits. The patter of rain slows as the sun filters through the clouds and Aethelflaed waits. </p><p>“You swore to be chaste,” Eadith says softly. When she wets her lips with the tip of her tongue, Aethelflaed feels it. </p><p>“No man will come to my bed,” Aethelflaed says with a shrug. There is some benefit to the boxes men will put them in. Eadith tips her head up, her lips a breath from Aethelflaed’s and both women make a soft gasp into the quiet between them.  </p><p>She does not kiss Aethelflaed and Aethelflaed does not kiss her. </p><p>“I have lost this game before,” Eadith says finally.</p><p>“I don’t want to play a game. But you did not lose, you survived. You outlived him,” Aethelflaed says, parroting Eadith’s words. Still she rocks her weight back, gives the other woman space. It is Eadith who doesn’t let her hand go, “come back to Mercia. We start can there.”</p><p>“You sent me away,” Eadith reminds her quietly, her thumb brushing Aethelflaed’s knuckles. </p><p>“You don’t have to come back,” Aethelflaed says honestly, “Uhtred and his men are good and loyal. And you have won them over. You are free to make your choices. But Mercia is one of them.”</p><p>Aethelflaed wants Eadith to promise her then and there that she never has to be alone with men again. That she will immediately ride back to Mercia with them and be her constant companion, her strength. But she wants her to do it because it’s what Eadith wishes and that means she has to bite her tongue and let her make her own choices. Aethelflaed has made hers and now she has to wait. </p><p>Sometimes she perfectly understands Uhtred’s reckless abandon. The waiting aches.</p><p>“I’ll come back to Mercia,” Eadith says, catching her full lip between her teeth. Her lashes are a pale fan as she looks up at Aethelflaed through them. She rises up to her toes and brushes her mouth against her Queen’s cheek. It’s chaste. It’s only a maybe, “we’ll start there.”</p><p>“This is going to be trouble,” Aldhelm says, his voice dry but without bite. He stands at the otherside of the courtyard before the door that would let another into their private moment. Aethelflaed doesn’t know how long he’s been there but she does know that he would have stalled anyone who intended to interrupt them.  </p><p>Beside her Eadith goes still and tense, waiting for Aethelflaed’s cue. </p><p>“That’s what I have you for,” Aethelflaed reminds him and the smile he gives her is real and warm. Like Eadith, Aethelflaed never told him no just… not now, not like this and that had become a decade of  closeness, a decade of yearning. And now a vow of chastity. </p><p>And still he’s by her side. </p><p>“One more for Aegelesburg?” he asks when the two women join him and they step back into the cool halls of the palace. </p><p>“What if it is never more between us,” Eadith says quietly, insistently. Now that Aethelflaed seems unconcerned by Aldhelm’s presence, Eadith matches her.  </p><p>Aethelflaed is going to reassure her. She is going to promise that it is enough to have a friend who can understand her in a way the rest of them can’t. Who knows that Aethelflaed understands exactly what position she is putting Stiorra in, in ways Uhtred and Edward never could. Aldhelm beats her to it.</p><p>“Then we’ll be the most sexually frustrated court in England,” His voice is mild, his tone dry and Eadith’s laugh becomes a groan as her ribs protest it.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>